CADE SEARS
It’s a fury of blonde locks and brunette extensions.  It’s a tornado of spirit fingers.  It’s a sight no human being should see while operating a moving vehicle.  In fact, a study across universities nation wide found that bicycle and skateboard accidents ravage the Row during rush week because of this frenzy.  Coincidence? You decide.   It’s a sight known amongst first time viewers (namely freshmen) as “what the hell?”  What is it you may ask?  It’s the multitude of high-pitched voices accompanying the head nods and hand twirls of …

DANNY LUBER
Most USC students make visits back home to catch up on sleep.  For Thomas McFarlstein, it was the complete opposite.  This sophomore became so accustomed to falling asleep to the sounds of fire trucks and ambulances racing down Figueroa Street that his visitations back home in Missouri were plagued by severe cases of insomnia.  It was not until this summer, while working on his grandfather’s wheat farm, that he discovered the potential for a siren-sounding sleep machine.
“I was listening to Chamillionaire’s ‘Ridin’ Dirty’ on my iPod and caught myself …

ABHIRUKT N. SAPRU
A lecture on modern guerilla warfare was abruptly called to an end on Tuesday afternoon when distinctly mediocre rapper Kanye West decided to interrupt the class. West, known for his use of auto-tune, sprinted on to the stage in a shiny silver jacket and pink skinny jeans midway through the class. The musician stole the limelight when he tackled distinguished USC faculty member professor Arroyo.
After stumbling to his feet, West began a 10 minute rant about himself, claiming the creation of rap music when he said, bluntly, “I created …

JACE BERTGES
A new fad is sweeping through the USC female community by storm.  More and more ladies have been venturing out to the Row, holding their high heels in their hands and walking without any sort of foot protection.  This hit sensation originated as merely an attempt at saving hopelessly tired feet from morning-after foot pains.  However, it has now grown into an all out fashion necessity for young women.
Stacy Cobbers, a local sophomore and frequent visitor of the row said, “I can’t believe I ever wore my stilettos in …