ABHIRUKT N. SAPRU
LOS ANGELES- The newest mutated form of the H1N1 flu virus has had a bizarre effect on one female student at the University of Southern California. Janice Odwallan, a member of one of the school’s better-known Greek sororities, has transformed into a rare breed of pig.
20 year-old Odwallan, now nicknamed Babe, has turned into the ‘Sus ahoenobarbus’ species, more commonly known as the Palawan Bearded Pig. This variety is indigenous to the Balabac, Palawan, and the Calamian islands in the Philippines and is almost impossible to find out …

CADE SEARS
It’s a fury of blonde locks and brunette extensions.  It’s a tornado of spirit fingers.  It’s a sight no human being should see while operating a moving vehicle.  In fact, a study across universities nation wide found that bicycle and skateboard accidents ravage the Row during rush week because of this frenzy.  Coincidence? You decide.   It’s a sight known amongst first time viewers (namely freshmen) as “what the hell?”  What is it you may ask?  It’s the multitude of high-pitched voices accompanying the head nods and hand twirls of …